Many of the buildings on Market Street in downtown Charleston used to be houses of
prostitution. Two of the businesses currently located in these buildings are the Charleston
Crab House (insert your joke here) and Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream at 96 N. Market Street.  

One night, after the consumption of too much Appleton Estates Rum, I had a thought:  "IF
THE WHORE HOUSE HAD AN ICE CREAM PARLOR, WHAT WOULD BE THE MOST POPULAR
FLAVORS?"

Here is a list 69 flavors of ice cream to offer for sale ONLY in the Market Street store. The
current list of flavors was completed with the help of Charleston tour guides and Wicked
Charleston Walking Tour customers. If you have any suggestions feel free to e-mail them
to me. Persons with the best submissions will be credited in (parenthesis).
1. Deep Throat Decadence  
2. Camel Toe Caramel  
3. Syphilis Shake  
4. Peanut Butter and Nelly  
5. Rum Cum  
6. Cherry Trout  
7. Snatch Batch
8. Hand-Made Crème deClit  
9. Jism Jugs
10. Fudgepacker’s Deluxe
11. Clit Mint  
12. Lemon Twat Twizzler
13. Orgasm Orange
14. Moana Moana Ripple
15. Riley's Ream Cream
16. Buttered Skank  
17. Grace’s Good Goo  
18. Market Street BJ  
19. Cinnamon Syph  
20. 30 Day Cherry  
21. Back Door Brownie  
22. French Lick and Blow  
23. Vanilla Vag   
24. Greek Goodie  
25. Nuts on Top   
26. Triple Train  
27. Cooter Crunch   
28. Coming Street Special  
29. Powdered Pussy
30. Fellatio Funk
31. Olde Fashioned Spuge
32. Tangy Tits
33. Semen Special
34. Dripping Mint Creme
35. Gang Bang Tang
36. Hot Buttered Cum
37. Split Tail Toffee (Jim Brain -
Charleston Tour Guide)  
38.Black Cherry Cunt w/ sprinkles (Ginger
Williams - Charleston Tour Guide)
39. Swiss Mocha Swallow (Michael Onorato -
BlackCat customer
40. Bloomer Puddin' Parfait
41. Peter Punch
42. Big John's Jumpin' Jizz (Tony Creed
-BlackCat customer)43. Hand Churned Baby
Butter
Bonanza (Casey Fox)
44.Hand Jerked Cream Surprise (slightly
salty after taste)  
45. Nipples in Cream (made with whole milk)
46. Masturbation Celebration Sherbet
47. Vanilla Cream Blue Balls on a Stick  
(#44-47 submitted by Roamin' Gypsy, a.k.a
Andrea48.Cooter Pie ala Mode (Dennis Wunn @  
BaylorHealth)
49.Penis Butter Cup (Leticia Miles @
BaylorHealth)
50. Double Slit Slushy [enjoy on aquantum
level] (submitted by the lovely Rebel Sinclair)
51. Cooter Cum Back To Me
52. Cup Lick-a-Lot
53. Nookies & Cream
54. Penis Colada
55. Crab Tracks (A.J. Britt,Charleston
tour guide)
56. Coochies & Cream
57. Hot Fuck Sundae
58. Spread Eagle Suprise
59. Cum Drop
60. Heavenly Ho
61. Rocky Rod
62. Mud Slut (#56-62 submitted by
Randy Capps, Charleston tour guide)
63. Beaver Batter (Billy Hood,
Charleston tour guide)
64.Double-Dipped Chocolate Stick
(Dennis Shirey,Charleston furrier)
65. Charleston Inbred Suprise {You
never know what you're gonna get}
(Ginger Williams, Charleston tour
guide)
66. Blue Blood Blue Balls
67. Twat Waffle Cone (Billy Hood)
68. Backdoor Banana (Ricky Myatt)
69. Raspberry Bush (Ricky Myatt)
Author's Official Site
M A R K   R .  J O N E S
N e w    V i e w s   o f    t h e   O l d   S o u t h
"I've read plenty of Charleston histories,
but Wicked Charleston ranks
among the best."  
-- Award-winning novelist, Cathy Pickens
"Mark's book moves the reader from one tawdry scene
to another in a manner that would have had Boswell
and Samuel Johnson giddy with delight!"
-- Tom Horton, History's Lost Moments
"Most history books are full of boring facts
and dates. Wicked Charleston is anything
BUT boring. Lots of stories about
brothels, murders, scandals, etc. "   
-- Jack Doyle
All Material © MARK R. JONES, 2008-2012
“Sex is like a drug. To obtain the same results one must
often double the dose.” -- Honore de Balzac
Mark's books are available on Kindle and Nook!